"Everything is just as it needs to be. And if we would forgive, our hearts and minds would open and we could see another possibility"
~ Iyanla Vanzant
|Rosa (by miss-gardener deviantart.com)
Angel At My Shoulder
Life is a mystery that keeps on unfolding.
And human beings are sentient beings.
We experience life on many levels.
Most of us are limping through life's journey with mortal wounds, shattered hearts and burdens too heavy to carry.
We make life a battlefield and the war continues in our heads long after the fight is over.
And life is our biggest teacher.
Life is about us.
And we are always at the centre of our world.
We are always powerful but we do not always realise it.
Relationships are important to us and this is why we invest so much time and energy into them.
We are all like mirrors reflecting one another.
But life seldom looks pretty.
When someone hurts us - we hold them hostage.
We hold onto the experience and all the negative emotions attached to it believing that if we let go - they will get away with it.
The more we hold on, the deeper the pain becomes.
We mistakenly believe that by holding onto the negative experience we will be punishing the other person.
We send out a negative energy into the universe and we unconsciously re-create the same or similar negative experiences.
When we project blame onto others and refuse to take responsibility for our actions - we become victims.
When we refuse to take responsibility for our actions we live by default and someone else will run our minds.
We give our power to the very thing we are trying to escape.
When our heads are clogged up with old hurts, grievances and toxic emotions - nothing new can enter our lives.
Different faces and different places - but everything remains the same because we will always attract what we are to ourselves.
We cannot think the same way and expect different results.
Ernest Holmes of Science of Mind has illuminating words here.
Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it.
All the people in our lives are a reflection of us.
Therefore, when our consciousness shifts everything changes.
We were not created to carry all the burden of our troubles on our shoulders.
We are human.
We are not super-human.
Nobody can control future and past events or the people around them.
As Jesus taught - nobody can change any thing by worrying about it.
Worrying is about control.
Worrying is a choice that we make and a way in which we attempt to influence future or past events.
Whatever hurt you has already happened.
You can never redress the balance!
You must be prepared to let go.
You must forgive.
When that person, place or thing is in your face - you will forgive.
When you are done with keeping mental lists of everything they said and did and rehearsing it all in your head - you will forgive.
When the pain eventually get's so bad that we can't stand it any longer - we will forgive.
Good mental health begins with keeping short emotional accounts with people.
Most people do not forgive because they do not know how to or because they think it means conceding defeat and making themselves wrong.
Irresponsible teaching and skewed doctrines have blinded people to the true meaning of forgiveness.
Jesus understood that when we forgive we neutralise the negative impact of the persons words and actions upon us.
He understood that by blessing our "enemy" we break the negative influence they have over us.
You go in the opposite spirit to disarm it.
Most people believe that forgiveness is an act of submission to their "enemy"
But forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person.
There are huge misconceptions attached to this most powerful of acts and those fallacies prevent us from understanding and appreciating how spiritual principles are.
When we are done with running and controlling and fixing and fighting - we will surrender.
Acknowledge your feelings and what you are thinking.
|Shutters (by MarinaCoric deviantart.com)
Get clear and then forgive.
Forgiveness must come from the heart.
Not from the head.
It may not be easy and it may feel unreal to begin with - but persevere.
Spiritual evolution is assured.
Be prepared to keep on forgiving.
Jesus had wise words for Peter on this matter.
Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
~ Matthew 18:21, 22
All healing takes time and forgiveness is spiritual medicine.
Make forgiveness a way of life.
Forgiveness is the powerful spiritual act that will set you free.
Forgiveness as Iyanla Vanzant teaches is good spiritual hygiene.
Forgiveness is at the very heart of the compassionate message of Jesus.
"Behold I do a new thing"
When we withhold forgiveness we live in the past and remain stuck in the cement of toxic emotions.
And yet because many of us can only accept what we see, we get bogged down by appearances and give our power away as we fight.
We forget that the exterior reveals but a fraction of what is really happening.
It can only accept what it can see.
But life is so much more than we can see.
Life is an internal process - yet in the materiel world we are often ignorant of the spiritual realm.
Yet we feel love and cannot "see" it.
Many important aspects to life do not not come with a fanfare.
You never heard the sun or the moon rise.
Day turns to night and night turns to day - and you still didn't hear a sound.
Yet the human animal demands to see something before he or she can accept it.
So we remain within our limited perceptions.
When we begin to fight the object of our wrath - disaster usually overtakes us.
We drink the poison and expect them to die!
As Louise L Hay asserts, withholding forgiveness is like taking a teaspoon of poison everyday.
We continue to suffer and feel bitter long after the event occurred.
Bitterness and resentment will sour your life and mar every good thing that happens to you.
Bitterness will rob you of joy and blight your path at every turn.
You will get exactly what you expect.
And yet in our ignorance of spiritual principles we continue to fight our demons with our limited minds.
We are often our worst enemy.
In the modern age with it's technologies and right-on politics it can be almost fashionable - particularly in the West - not to believe in God or principles.
An intelligent person may tell you that they have no time for archaic superstitions and fairy stories.
Yet they cannot offer you an alternative.
They are content to follow another human who may be more flawed than they are.
Spiritually principled people are not weak.
They know exactly what is going on.
They are powerful people who choose to deal with things in a powerful way.
Spiritual principles have stood the test of time because they work.
They underlie all religions and all known metaphysical teachings from the earliest known writings.
You are a powerful creative being with free will.
As well as your five senses - you have been given your emotions.
Your feelings are your internal guidance system.
|Crown of Thorns (holypal.com)
You cannot send out negative energy and expect good to come back.
You cannot escape your Karma.
What you see - is what you are.
What you give - you get.
Your mind is like a garden that needs tending.
Negative people, places and things are like weeds strangling the good in your life.
They cannot be ignored.
They must be eliminated.
Forgiveness and surrender are the tools you use to erase the pain, guilt and shame.
See to it that you plant good seeds so that you can see the fruit in your life.
Be that as it may - if you are the average person then you will only accept what is in front of you.
See how far you get living in the past.
See how far you get with your limited mind and your limited understanding based solely on what you can see.
See how far you get trying to figure it all out on your own.
See how far you get fighting things you cannot see.
See how far you get.
Hard though it may be to accept - your "enemy" is reflecting something within you.
That "idiot" in your face is showing you something.
Lightening never strikes without warning.
There are only two fundamental emotions in life - love and fear.
If it isn't love then it will be fear.
When we are in the grip of fear we will fight to defend ourselves.
We will be temporarily insane.
We will say and do things from a wounded place of deficit.
We will doggedly hold others hostage for what they have done to us.
We will keep holding on until the pain and hurt poisons our lives.
Many of us believe that by withholding forgiveness we will punish the other person.
Many of us believe that the person who wronged us, deserves to be punished for what they have done.
But by withholding forgiveness - we are the ones who suffer.
They will be held accountable for what they have thought, said and done - it is their Karma.
Make no mistake - they will reap what they have sown.
We are dealing with spiritual matters and things of the spirit.
For the truth is that we are all accountable to Spirit and the Law for what we think, say and do.
You are not responsible for how anyone else chooses to behave.
Don't blame God for the garbage that you create in your own mind.
Don't pronounce "God is dead" when you reap the full measure of your bitter harvest.
For what you sow - you will surely reap.
Thoughts and words have power and they create.
Whatever is in the heart will come up to the tongue
~ Persian proverb
Florence Scovel Shinn taught wisely of this.
The game of life is a game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds and words return to us sooner or later with astounding accuracy.
Begin by forgiving yourself.
This may be the hardest thing of all.
But you must because you cannot give anybody what you do not possess already.
God has forgiven you.
Now you forgive yourself too.
Now you forgive yourself for every thought, word and deed.
On the road to peace and spiritual evolution - you must be ready to forgive yourself and let yourself off the hook.
Then you must forgive all those who have hurt you.
There may be many, many people.
But you must be prepared to do it.
Forgive everything they have said and done.
Forgive everything as it appears in your consciousness.
The more it emerges - the more you must forgive.
Resist the human temptation to evaluate and diagnose the situation - forgive.
Forgive everything and wipe the slate clean.
You have to accept that there are some things that you can do nothing about.
Take your energy off it!
And hand it over to a force far greater than you are.
Be prepared to keep on forgiving and surrendering until your soul opens up.
Release yourself from all the pain, guilt and shame.
Forgive yourself for allowing it the power to exist.
You will know exactly what you need to forgive.
Pain will certainly get your attention!
Pain is part of the deal and pain is how Spirit corrects us.
Surrender all the images attached to the hurt and pain.
Surrender the feelings and sensations.
Surrender it all.
Give it all up for a change.
Lay the burden down.
On the road to spiritual evolution - we are all growing and we are all prone to being all too human.
When you judge yourself as having made a mistake - see yourself as an errant child and come to the Father who is always merciful and full of Love.
Surrender everything to the energy of God within you.
When you forgive - you let go and let God.
When you forgive - you get your humanity back.
When you forgive - you get your power back.
When you forgive - the painful effects of the people, place or thing are neutralised.
When you forgive - you make way for a miracle to occur.
And always remember that no matter what transpires and no matter how you show up - you always have the power to make a new choice.
Forgive them all.
Further Reading ~
The Value in the Valley:
A Black Woman's Guide Through Life's Dilemmas ~ Iyanla Vanzant
Creative Mind And Success ~ Earnest Holmes
|.. the sundown II (by hayal25 deviantart.com)